there i sat, mournful, cloaked in gray, my hand clinging to the boat as i grieved the loss of the things that were never borne. the glowing moon cleaved the gloom, casting its pearly light upon the brackish lake, shining upon my beauty, my wisdom, and my power– lifeless– on the skiff’s blackened bottom. i closed my eyes and saw profane dreams filled with the monsters and things fashioned by my own hands as they tugged, and they drug me down and down and down. yet i breathed and i…read more
i hear the lyrics in the song of belonging that isn’t sung by brutal lips or dissembling tongue. they go, “sister, sister, don’t cry. the world wasn’t meant to be perfect. it’s an ever-changing chrysalis– a limitless butterfly. lift your leaden wings and fly… weathered, untethered, severed, unfettered from the anchoring sorrow still trying to tug you to the ground. together– apart– surrender– resistance– there’s really no distance between the sun and the light in your heart.”
my love is big enough for you– no matter what you do. i’ll turn into a star and shine for you, just for loving you– no matter what you do, because my love for you– and everyone else i see– is unconditionally reflected by me.
i wish you cloudbursts of laughter forever now in this moment and infinitely after, this life and this Life. take a deep breath and hold it, releasing and rebirthing it into this succulent earth and delicious mortal coil, mulching the spirit into maiden, mother, crone, maiden, mother, crone, in this Life and this Life and this Life.
walk-walking ambulating everywhere– pitch-pitching, plummeting here, hurt-hurtling there with the quirking jerks– the jerking quirks– the spinning whirls whirling and twirls that send me through fields of possibilities and spasms that sometimes make me bleed from the head– sometimes the eyes, the ears, the mouth– and the heart instead. la bouche bouching, the masticate masticating, the French frenching, the kiss kissing, the touch touching– gaping maw mawing, chewing us up– spitting us out. mouthful of electricity coursing forcibly through my nerves of their own volition– will willing to reconstruct structures…read more
teeth breaking flesh, blood orange juice bursting, dripping down my chin, wine-colored tear-stains blossoming on my skin. peeling, bleeding, feeling freeing– fragrant jelly-red blood cells and bittersweet strips of endocarp flaying from my bruised and ripened heart, clotting, spilling seeds onto the ground to sow and regenerate, refresh and invigorate– warm and pulpy flesh once more.
i’m in the backseat, propping my tiny bare feet on the window of daddy’s Pontiac. i watch as the clouds and telephone poles outside create flickering patterns of light and shadows inside the car as we hurtle down the highway. my stomach churns from the smell of wet dog and stale cigarettes. daddy’s loud percussive shouting and the motion of the wheels on the pavement drive my unease deeper. i feel sick. i can’t wait to be home, where i can sit alone outside in the silent, still, and immaculate…read more
you poured me in your cup but i never measured up to what you wanted from me or your dreams for my future. i can see– i can see from the Light behind my eyes that you never were a wise benign or humane creature. your mind was brutal. your heart was insane. you always took– always took more than you gave– breaking waves of hearts as you dug graves for a better Life and a better future. i complied for a while, consumed and defiled by your utility of…read more
date palms itchy qualms calloused palms book of psalms palmed dates love hates swanned lake locked gates heavy wait weighted words bated lips slim hips shallow sips losing grips unequivocally quizzical metaphysically mystical tangentially tragically Magic man his brawny arms his lucky charms his worldly-wise irish eyes time flies when you’re older bolder colder and wiser my green man my keen man just passing through devoting his view to the old the new the striving the thriving the weak the strong and the dying.
i’m so glad i got to see you. i’m glad you got to see me too. i’m glad we got to be here at the same time and space continuum, sharing precious oxygen as we throw punches and cry victim before we learn to fly. i recall my supple, perfumed skin wrapped tightly around my willowed arms, your half-closed eyes, your slow smoky grin. remember our hollow laughter, our prismatic eyes, tangled hair, and beseeching postures? see our resilient vulnerability? our tender bellies and our brittle hearts? see how they…read more